Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Anytime I have a crisis of identity I blame it on my career choices. Currently, I am in a job that I am not that thrilled about. That being said - I am simply lucky to have a job. 8 months ago I was laid off my job as a non-profit fundraiser. I worked my little tail off for the organization and had many many big successes. Unfortunately the reality about non-profits is that when the going gets tough - the development department should start packing. Myself as well as my boss lost our jobs as they ruthlessly gutted our department. I look back on that and think that while devastating it was a wonderful thing. Like most people I started my job search with fervor and applied to any and all jobs that were available. As health care is a growing industry OF COURSE a GIANT health care company in my area was hiring and I was graciously offered a job as a sales professional. I enjoy some of what I do but other things drive me up a wall. I don't want to disparage the likes of this company, as they offered me a job in one of the worst economic times our country has ever experienced but it really is not ME. So now instead of starting a full blown job search AGAIN, I am taking my time. I am learning what I can at my current job, making the best of it (even though I found myself crying in the bathroom during my lunch break the other day) and doing a lot of soul searching.
What do I want to do?
Many many man ideas of crossed my mind. The thing is I don't want to approach this haphazardly like I have done in the past. I don't want to run directly to graduate school because it is a safe haven and in fact, I want to end this cycle of finding jobs I HATE and finally find one I love. Throughout high school I though I wanted to be a writer, then a doctor (very short lived), then in college - a lobbyist. I got my degree in political science and then... everything changed. I hated Washington and what it stood for. I found the pandering between politicians to be completely maddening. I honestly HATED all that I had worked for. It was disheartening and I simply wanted to give up. I felt completely lost and without direction and to this day I feel the same way. Now that I have told you what I hate... here is what I love:
6. Public Radio
7. Public Health (odd yes, but would explain my utter fascination with Zombies)
11. Politics (I know... I know... time heals all wounds)
I have been watching a lot of Kell on Earth and I think I would like to work for her. Public relations particularly in the fashion industry to my utter dream. I know I need to me more realistic - but honestly it is hard to let it go. While I teeter on the edge between my 20 and 30's I need a plan and I need it quick. I need to discover my dream and then make it happen. So wish me luck. Maybe I will end up in New York some day or maybe I will be studying disease outbreak at a Health Department near you. Either way I want to feel passion for what I do - not just an empty dissatisfied feeling like I have eaten way too many carbs.