Anytime I have a crisis of identity I blame it on my career choices. Currently, I am in a job that I am not that thrilled about. That being said - I am simply lucky to have a job. 8 months ago I was laid off my job as a non-profit fundraiser. I worked my little tail off for the organization and had many many big successes. Unfortunately the reality about non-profits is that when the going gets tough - the development department should start packing. Myself as well as my boss lost our jobs as they ruthlessly gutted our department. I look back on that and think that while devastating it was a wonderful thing. Like most people I started my job search with fervor and applied to any and all jobs that were available. As health care is a growing industry OF COURSE a GIANT health care company in my area was hiring and I was graciously offered a job as a sales professional. I enjoy some of what I do but other things drive me up a wall. I don't want to disparage the likes of this company, as they offered me a job in one of the worst economic times our country has ever experienced but it really is not ME. So now instead of starting a full blown job search AGAIN, I am taking my time. I am learning what I can at my current job, making the best of it (even though I found myself crying in the bathroom during my lunch break the other day) and doing a lot of soul searching.
What do I want to do?
Many many man ideas of crossed my mind. The thing is I don't want to approach this haphazardly like I have done in the past. I don't want to run directly to graduate school because it is a safe haven and in fact, I want to end this cycle of finding jobs I HATE and finally find one I love. Throughout high school I though I wanted to be a writer, then a doctor (very short lived), then in college - a lobbyist. I got my degree in political science and then... everything changed. I hated Washington and what it stood for. I found the pandering between politicians to be completely maddening. I honestly HATED all that I had worked for. It was disheartening and I simply wanted to give up. I felt completely lost and without direction and to this day I feel the same way. Now that I have told you what I hate... here is what I love:
1. Fashion
2. Design
3. Writing
4. Music
5. Art
6. Public Radio
7. Public Health (odd yes, but would explain my utter fascination with Zombies)
8. Reading
9. Teaching
10. Talking
11. Politics (I know... I know... time heals all wounds)
I have been watching a lot of Kell on Earth and I think I would like to work for her. Public relations particularly in the fashion industry to my utter dream. I know I need to me more realistic - but honestly it is hard to let it go. While I teeter on the edge between my 20 and 30's I need a plan and I need it quick. I need to discover my dream and then make it happen. So wish me luck. Maybe I will end up in New York some day or maybe I will be studying disease outbreak at a Health Department near you. Either way I want to feel passion for what I do - not just an empty dissatisfied feeling like I have eaten way too many carbs.
